It’s the morning of that critical board meeting and you get up damp with sweat, your head spinning, worrying over and over about your presentation and the failure it will inevitably be. You drag yourself out of bed, wondering what you’ll do when everyone ‘finally finds out you’re not up to the job’. Sounds familiar?
If you’ve been battling with impostor syndrome, you’re not alone. No matter how on your own you may feel, loads of others feel the same. Even well-known, accomplished people have considered themselves impostors. The Hall of Fame of Impostor Syndrome hosts Albert Einstein, Sheryl Sandberg, Chief Operating Officer at Facebook, and Hollywood actress Emma Watson. Not a bad crowd to mix with, eh?
Impostor syndrome was first described by psychologists Pauline Rose Clance and Suzanne Ament Imes in 1978, when they identified this phenomenon in high-achieving women. In fact, Clance named it impostor phenomenon as opposed to syndrome, as she didn’t want women to be pathologised. Well, that wasn’t to be, and impostor syndrome is how most people refer to feelings of self-doubt and the fear of being exposed as a fraud. Although women are significantly overrepresented when it comes to impostor syndrome, men also experience it.
For those in the grip of impostor syndrome, success can come at a high price, with feelings of anxiety, fear, and self-doubt. In some cases, stress responses seriously impact the person’s wellbeing. An obsession with work, putting in long hours and great effort, in an attempt to overcome feelings of fraud and fear of failure, can cause emotional exhaustion and burnout. Not surprisingly, many of these individuals are perfectionists demanding extremely high standards of themselves, setting stretching goals, and holding rigid ideas of success, while striving to be the best among their peers.
Their quest for high achievement can be characterised by:
- Superwoman/Superman drive: wanting everything to be perfect in all aspects of their lives
- Fear of failure: feeling the need to achieve the highest standard in everything because failing is not an option, as it comes with feelings of shame and humiliation
- Discounting the positive: regardless of how much praise they receive, they still find evidence to ‘prove’ that their success is not real or warranted
- Success to fail: anxiety that being successful will only increase the demand for ever greater achievement feeding a vicious cycle of fear of failure
If you recognise yourself in this, it is important not to suffer alone but to ask for help if you can’t manage by yourself, especially as depression and anxiety can accompany impostor syndrome.
Employers wanting to support their staff are advised to provide wellbeing services, such as coaching, mentoring, and counselling, which can bring down the prevalence of impostor syndrome in the organisation. In addition, fostering a culture of interpreting mistakes as learning, not failure, can be highly supportive too.
Tips for how to manage impostor feelings:
- Slow down
You’re kidding, right? No, I’m not. If you’re caught up in the ‘busyness’ of everyday life and working yourself into oblivion, it’ll be hard for you to feel and manage your emotions in a healthy way.
- Take stock
Recognise and celebrate your achievements. It’s easy to go from one thing to the next, without savouring the moment. When was the last time you gave yourself a pat on the back and celebrated a personal or professional achievement?
- Create a new story
What’s the story you’ve been telling yourself about your abilities, skills, experience and contribution? Take time with this: write down your account of yourself, or draw, paint, write a poem, or a play –use any method you fancy to capture your narrative. Then take time to think about a new story: what would you like it to be?
- Create small moments of joy in your daily life
What are the little things that bring you joy? A hot cup of coffee? A walk in the park? playing with your children? Reading a poem? Make sure you include – and savour – a few moments of joy in your everyday life: everyday means every day!
- Accept yourself
Perhaps there are steps you can take to better manage your impostor syndrome but, remember, you’re fine just as you are – impostor syndrome or not. Think about all the things you have achieved, potentially because you had the energy and drive to achieve them. Be compassionate and celebrate yourself. And, if your impostor syndrome is getting too much and is affecting your wellbeing, don’t soldier on. Reach out for support, from friends and family, work colleagues, a coach or mentor, or a counsellor.
Whatever you do, remember: you are enough. You deserve all the success you have, have had and will have. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise, not even yourself. Now go on and write that list of achievements. Enjoy!
